sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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