So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
