I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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