It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
