he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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