I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
