I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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