is your mom at the bar?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize