Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize