Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
