I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize