I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
