I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
