hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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