Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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