It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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