and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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