how can u be prego again
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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