Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
