Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
