Small penises have feelings too.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
