doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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