hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
