just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
