the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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