wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
