I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
