So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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