I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
