do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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