I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
