all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
