When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
