he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So gin and wine won't be happening again
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
