You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza†btw
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