So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize