If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
