but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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