hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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