My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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