So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
