somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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