the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
