Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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