Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
