i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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