my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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