I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
