ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
