After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dick very happy bro
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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