I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
