i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
