Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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