I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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