Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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