This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
