is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
