Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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