If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
