every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
