its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
