I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What a dumb baby whore.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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